Things That Ruin Me
There are a lot of people stuck in their past I was one of those people, blaming everyone accept myself; YES! Everyone was the blame for the lack of my success, my proceeding in a better life. When I start realizing it was me I turned against myself, now it begun the name calling towards myself, the downing myself I’m the stupid one, the failure, my thoughts became negative towards myself, there was a war going on in my head, a wrestling match. I was tossing to and fro letting my emotions take the best of me, the more my mind was weaken by bad emotions the more sensitive my body and soul got. Words that was thrown at me to hurt me in the past, before my emotional breakdown I would take and eat it up, but once the bad emotional state of mind came upon me words that was thrown at me to hurt me I couldn’t take them anymore. I use to take harsh words from people it was funny to me, now these words started hurting, relationships started getting more emotional for me, in the past I didn’t care whether or not if a girl broke up with me, once bad emotions started being king of my life that all changed and it wasn’t love in these relationships that were hurting me, it were the bad emotions that I attached myself to that were hurting me. My marriage was the most hurting time of my life. I let my emotions take over love; my emotions ruin some of my marriage. I also experience an emotional breakdown with my family to the point where I didn’t want to be around any of my family members my mother’s family and my father’s side of the family as well. The place I was at in my life was hard emotionally I wanted to leave and go to another country with my child and start over away from anybody I knew. But my child has a mother who loves him dearly.
The hurt was about me and the way people treated me.
Life is not about self it is about KNOW they self. God SPOKE to me when I was in my most emotional state of mind during the time I was going through pain the pain of flames of arrows being thrown at me verbally. The emotions that I was feeling weren’t emotions that I was use too or ever experience before. At a young age the emotions that I was use to, were emotions of hate, anger, happiness, and envy. These emotions that I was now expressing were new, emotions of sadness, fear, a crazy anger of suicide, pride, and a big ego. My self-esteem was low. I felt like if I never went through these different feelings I could never talk about what truly bring a person down, hurt, and weakens a person in life. I wouldn’t know the difference from good and bad emotions I couldn’t talk about emotions and understand people pain. I went through an experience in my life that was terrifying and horrifying nobody understood what I was going through inside, the rage, the pain weaken by bad emotions because I let my guard down. I open the gate to one of my senses if I didn’t go through this emotional state I really wouldn’t know how my life would be, through my experience I am able to write about, and teach about emotions to people that are in a emotional state of mind. I believe GOD taught me the weakest point of a man’s life (bad emotions) given me a different view point of life. I look at people different now especially those that are hurting in pain from bad emotions.
The spirit of GOD talked with me in my sleep about keeping away from pride and hold on to his commands, GOD talk to me so much and has given me so much it’s just on me to take it in and use it, GOD teaches me and remind me when I make a mistake on a daily. I know there are plenty of days people probably thought I was crazy when they see me walking up the street talking to myself but they didn’t know the spirit was teaching me answering questions that I wanted to know.
How Do We Weaken the Evil in Us?
We give the d-evil (devil) power by giving into this adversary unlawfulness by empowering the things that are not of GOD. We allow our pride to get in the way of our true selves, the true creation of GOD. We blame evil for the things that we do, for the bad decisions we make in our lives. We give evil more power when we start blaming evil and giving evil credit. Yes, acknowledge your mistakes and understand what you did wrong but don’t judge yourself, don’t talk down on yourself always lift yourself up. Your talk should be good, walk in positivity, and talk good about yourself. When thing’s is going wrong in your life thank GOD. Thank him for what happened and watch the change.
Do Not Take On Any Images
You must get away from the things that bring you down. The images of pleasure in your mind needs to go these images are hurting you, causing sickness to the body, these are fantasies that you make-up in your mind causing sin to invade your property and take over your temple. The fear that you allow to enter ruins so much of the mind causes disobedience, it shutters people in a small holding cell. Anger has more than one part to it, there’s anger of discipline, there’s anger of rage; there’s self-center, and self-egotistic anger. People get angry and want to kill you if you step on their shoes, this is ego. Rage anger is more like many of students talk bad about a another student and it continues to go on and this student that is taking this verbal abuse to the heart allowing his pride to get in the way will soon pick up some ego and go on a rampage and kill everyone in the school at lease that will be his intention. These different bad emotions hold us back from true success. These elements hold us from what happiness is. He or she take on the evil image listen to their ego and act. Bowing down to these negative images only cause destruction.
reverbTrue Happiness is from within. Having a man or woman in your life to fulfill your loneliness doesn’t make you happy especially when you’re hurting from bad emotions, it only bandages your wound or covers it and bandages don’t last long. Your bad emotions probably had came from your past somewhere in your history, or your memories as a child, a teen, a college grad, where ever these feelings came from you need to find it, search for it, cure it so you can get out of it. Get free from the slavery of these problem and stressful emotions whether it is lust, fear, worries, pride, ego, anger, or jealousy true happiness is not of these things, these bad emotions are an escape from reality. True happiness holds on to truth, works through faith and action not holding on to strong holds that weakens the mind. True happiness lifts people up, sing in joy, smile, laugh, and dance through times of trouble. True happiness don’t need a man to comfort them, sex you, kiss you, or say I’m in love with you to make you feel happy. Happiness begins with the mind, body, and soul turning on a new spirit cleaning up a corrupt spirit by Taking off the bad flesh going within you and finding joy. GOD is the biggest joy that any living being can have my advice is to find the heavenly father and ask for peace within, joy, happiness, freedom from the deception, and a strong spirit God is the one who resides within you, the one who lives, dwells, created the within self reach out to the father first.
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One of the areas in this book I have touched on is emotions, dealing with bad and good emotions and where they come from. I went through bad emotions for a long time and didn't know how to deal with the emotions I was going through. The emotions I was going through really crushed different parts of my life, and it taught me a lot about myself and people as well. I recognize who I was and understood GOD more. If someone was going through something emotionally, I understood whether it was good or bad. My life wasn't easy. I experienced multiple achievements in my life, but I also experienced multiple failures in my life. Achievements can be gaining a new job or someone acknowledging a good change in your life. Failures can be learning how to hang out in the streets and blaming the world for your problems, or getting fired for not doing your job.
I have sold drugs in the streets, I have stolen, lied, and cheated. I have done evil things, wicked things. I have turned on people, and I have also changed these bad habits into many of positives.
I had to learn what was right from what was wrong, good from bad, righteous from wicked. I had to learn what was truth, wisdom, faith, true knowledge, how to praise, and how to worship. I had to understand what God is and what gods are.
Even though I changed my ways there were people who thought I was that person I used to be and still believe that. Even after 14 years of not doing what I used to do in the past - the past was not my dwelling place anymore. There was no reason for me to steal cars anymore. I did not have that desire anymore, because God took that desire out of my heart, he would not allow me too dwell there anymore. I already gave him me, my soul, I accepted his spirit. GOD is a spirit of love. The things I used to do I could not do them anymore. There was no desire, even when I went back to hustling drugs it was not a desire anymore. I smoked cigarettes for a while and prayed for GOD to take them
away from me. He took the cigarettes out of my life. GOD took the marijuana out of my life also, as well as the alcohol.
I never was into drugs because I already experience the drug scene. I sold the drugs, so I saw how people act on them and how it affected people. Someone told me drugs and everything else that you do in life that is bad for you are not addictions, but they are wants. If we get rid of our wants and focus on our needs we would be much better in our walk of life.
People, not all but some, take the bible as false, destruction, truth, somewhat truth, right, wrong, or contradicting. They believe that the bible is not GODS word, some believe only the Old Testament is GODS word, some believe that the Qur'ran is only GODS word.
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
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